The "Fictional" Boyfriend

I thought the title of this post would be The Perfect Boyfriend, but I am sure that all my female friends would vouch for the fact that such a creature (A Perfect Boyfriend) only exists in fiction and hence this title is apt.

So what are the traits of a perfect boyfriend? Does he meekly surrender to every legitimate request or illegitimate demand of his partner? Is he the quintessential Adonis with an 8 pack or the cliched tall, dark and handsome charmer? Is he chivalrous like Sir Walter Raleigh laying down his coat for Queen Elizabeth 1? Or is he like Roy Raymond, who would go as far as setting up a chain of lingerie stores just because he was embarrassed in buying lingerie at a department store? Let' see....

1. The Perfect Listener

For starters, he needs to have great listening skills. These days most guys boosted with talks from self help gurus and their books, feel obliged to roll their sleeves up and solve their girl's problems when all the girl might want them to do is listen. Kindly note, not hear what she has to say, but listen. Why he needs to be the perfect listener is covered in the next couple of points but the starting point would be to sharpen his listening skills.

2. The Perfect Memory

Coming to memory, he needs to have one of an elephant. Because that's what he is up against. Taking up from the previous point, if he has been a good listener, then of course, he needs to remember all that she had to tell him. Invariably his girl would start saying, "Honey, you remember that day when we went to that place..... " and so on an so forth. Mate, if you don't remember "that day" then you wont remember "that place" and then you've had it. So its time to sharpen your memory skills as well.

3. The Perfect Conversationalist

Though this point appears to be in exact contradiction of the first point, being a conversationalist, is no less important than being a good listener. Why? Well, a point will come where your girl will stop talking and would then like to know what you have to say about what she was talking about or she might just ask you about something in general. If its the former, and you have nothing to say, then she will be forced to think that you weren't listening. And if its the latter, then you might be accused of either being boring or that you are bored of her and hence have nothing to say. Either way, you're screwed. It doesn't matter if you are a Experimental Physicist who is dating a waitress / struggling actress (Couldn't help the Big Bang Theory reference), you should like and be able to talk football and of course guzzle down pints of beer if that's what she likes.

4. The Perfect Shopper

Please note that this doesn't mean that he is needs to shower her with gifts all the time. Though I am sure that if he does, she won't mind. More often than not, while walking around in malls, you will find guys just trudging along behind their wives / girlfriends looking absolutely disinterested in the entire activity and just searching for the first opportunity to sit down and just relax. Shopping is one one activity where most men differ from women. And you will notice this fact in most large apparel stores. Come rain or sunshine, the women's trial rooms will always be packed with a line of ladies waiting for their turn. However, the men's section more often than not will always have at least one trial room vacant. Why is that? Or in case you have noticed, at any time of the day, clothes which have been taken out of the rack or simply unfolded are just dumped around in the women's section, whereas in the men's section, they are immediately folded neatly and kept back in their place by the staff on duty. Why is that? Though I am digressing a bit, it is important to understand the inherent psyche of men and women when it comes to shopping to understand what it takes to be the perfect shopper. Women might want to buy a pair of denim, however after trying on at least 17 of them, suddenly decide that they'd much rather get themselves a pair of red pumps than anything else. Whereas, if a guy has decided to get himself a pair of denim, he almost always has decided that its going to be Levi's probably and whether its going to be a 517 or a 501 and whether its going to have a zipper or a button fly. Then it just comes down to trying it at the store and selecting it. This explains the rush in the women's trial rooms and the absence of it in the men's trial rooms. And the condition of clothes in the respective sections as well. However, the perfect shopper is the man who not only understands that his girl might need to try on 17 pairs of denim but he should himself suggest the 18th, 19th and 20th pairs that she could try on. Or if its pumps, then along with he red, maybe yellow and purple also deserve a try. And its not gay if you do that or have an opinion on what looks good and what would match with what. In fact, she will be thrilled that you actually have an opinion and are taking active interest in shopping for her.

5. The Perfect Friend

Well, yes you are her boy friend, but are you her best friend as well? She might say that she trusts you more than anyone else, but does she confide in you those things which don't concern you or those that happened in her life before you came along? Even sticky issues like past relationships etc. You have to play a dual role, one of her boy friend but more importantly that of a friend. A friend who doesn't judge, one who doesn't criticise, one who encourages her and one who can keep his two roles separate from each other. I am sure that most would agree that being a friend along with being a boy friend is easy, however the key to being the perfect friend is playing this dichotomous role in perfect harmony.

6. The Perfect Company

In a way, this is a combination of all that has been written above. If you are perfect on all counts, then you are surely her perfect companion and a perfect soul mate as well.

Of course, there are many other things other than those mentioned above that contribute to making you perfect, however I have mentioned those that I feel are the most important. And I am sure that those who feel any of these qualities / traits count, will try an improve on these :)